Author: admin

There may be times when we find ourselves struggling or even fighting with our emotions and thoughts, feeling that something should be done in a particular way or perhaps not at all. But it’s the way we are looking at the experience that is causing the turmoil within us, because life is not this way. If we can turn our attention to the source in order to solve the problem, we then become aware that the struggle is with ourselves. However, we must be willing to look where we need to look and feel emotions that may make us uncomfortable at first. We can then choose to open ourselves to understanding all the options and discover that we are resisting something based on a limited understanding, and then open ourselves to willingness. Many years ago, one of my mentors said that in situations such as these, we must first “be willing to be willing.”  When we are willing to look at all the possibilities, we also become willing to accept that there is room for more than we can imagine. We can then release the hold we have on our emotions and stop limiting ourselves. Opening ourselves to willingness may feel like we are abandoning all that we believe, but at the same time it is an act of power and courage, because it’s a conscious choice. We may have been unwilling to experience confusion, fear, or even joy for some reason or another, but when we realize that our understanding was limited, we allow space for the universe to move in our lives. Because being willing is to be in a state of manifesting something into being. It’s allowing ourselves to be, while also choosing to direct our energy in a focused way. It is being and doing from a place of openness, where we work with the universe rather than resisting it. It is an open hand rather than a clenched fist. When we make a step toward willingness, we open our lives to the wisdom of the universe and its movement in and through our lives to all possibilities.

Heart to Heart,
Rev. Addae

Giving and receiving are part of the same cycle, and we each give and receive in our own ways. But when we try to be too controlling on either side of the cycle, we can lose our balance. If what we gave was easy for us to give, we may feel that we don’t deserve the effort made on the receiving end. Sometimes we may find ourselves struggling to respond to others’ gifts in the same ways, like responding to an expensive present with something equally expensive or feeling like we have to throw a party for someone who has thrown one for us. But when these are done out of a sense of obligation, their energy changes from something that shares to something that drains. Accepting a person’s gift is a gift in itself. Sincere appreciation for their acknowledgement and their effort joins our energy with theirs in the cycle of giving and receiving, and nurtures all involved. But perhaps there is a different lesson there for us. We may be learning that just because we gave easily, it doesn’t diminish its value. It may be a chance to see the world through the eyes of another, as well as receiving gratitude. Or perhaps the universe is giving us an example to hold close to our hearts, to encourage us on some future day when our own generosity is not met with a visible act of receiving. However, when we can allow ourselves to receive as well as give, we do our part to keep the channels of abundance open for ourselves and others. If this sounds familiar, next time we can decide to allow ourselves to receive with open minds and hearts and simply say thank you.

From My Heart to Yours,
Rev. Addae

The spiritual practice of welcome should be integral to any faith community. It certainly is a very important one to our Unitarian Universalist faith. In the 1980s and 90s, the word “welcoming” became a code word for lesbian, gay, and bisexual people, so the Unitarian Universalist Association launched a Welcoming Congregation Program to help us learn how to undo homophobia and later, transphobia (prejudice against transgender people) in our hearts, minds, congregations, and our communities. Yet as a newly minted minister in the early 2000’s I was faced with the silence of “don’t ask, don’t tell” in my very liberal Unitarian Universalist congregation. I am very fortunate that I was never taught to be homophobic, therefore I didn’t have to unlearn it. Yes, just like racism, it’s a learned behavior. Some of you may be familiar with the saying, “You are/always have been UU but didn’t know it”- well, after finding this denomination, I feel very strongly that my very mainstream Christian Black family was cut from liberal cloth, but just self-identified as Christian. Which is why I don’t recognize the actions and behaviors of the majority who identify as Christians today. But that’s a column for another time. Back to LGBTQIA community. I can never remember a time growing up when there wasn’t an individual in my community who didn’t identify as Queer. During my adult years close friends and associations were members of this community. One of my sons came out to my husband and me in his teens, and the only anxiety that we felt about that was fear for his safety. I was privileged to be officiate for the wedding of a granddaughter who identifies as Gay. Recently another grandchild came out as Queer. There were different reactions from the parents, one accepts, but doesn’t understand, the other questions whether this is a phase and will change in the future. I on the other hand feel the same way about the announcement as I did when my son came out fifty years ago, fear for their safety. Because today this community suffers as much or more in some cases as when they remained closeted or hidden in the shadows of community life. Because with as many changes as we have seen regarding equality in marriage, housing and employment, we all know there is always that segment of the population that feels like the affirmation and accomplishments of others somehow diminishes the quality of their particular life. As leader of this congregation, I don’t have the answer to every question that you may have, but I’ll tell you what I was taught in seminary, “I know where to find it.” It’s not the responsibility of people to explain who they are and what it feels like to be who they identify as, any more than it is to ask an individual to explain what it’s like to be Irish, Polish, Italian, or African. What’s important is to do the work, just as you do before voting for a political candidate or passing a bill. The Unitarian Universalist Association’s website is filled with information that includes a LGBTQIA Ministries, an office that is part of multicultural Growth and Witness. And Skinner House has many books written by people from that community. Being part of a faith community is sometimes challenging, but that means growing deeper in spirit for individual transformation.

Heart to Heart,  Rev. Addae A. Kraba